Monthly Archives: August 2013

This Means War!

22 Thursday Aug 2013

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“Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is God’s Word.” – Ephesians 6:17 (CEB)

I was alone but felt that I was surrounded. It was almost suffocating. I kept looking all around me, certain that evil was about show its face. But there was no one there. Fear and panic engulfed me. What was that verse again from the Bible? The one about armor? I couldn’t remember it.

As could only happen in a dream, I found myself transported from the room I was in to a church. And there it was – the Bible. My Bible. I threw myself toward it but kept getting pulled further from it. I wanted to scream but no sounds would come.

I awoke with a panicked heart. Looking around in the darkness of my bedroom, I realized that I was safe. But what did my dream mean? I had never experienced anything like that before. Usually, if I remembered my dreams at all, they were silly and vibrant. But this one was so real. So full of fear and confusion. I was physically exhausted from the battle I had just experienced in my dream. “Pray” was all I kept hearing as I sat quietly in my bed, listening to the rhythmic sounds of my sleeping husband’s breath. For the next 30 minutes, I stared at the cross next to my bed and spoke to Jesus. Tears flowed as I poured out my fears, failures and lost dreams.

The next day, I thought a lot about that dream. I realized that what I experienced that night was no ordinary dream. It was much deeper. It was spiritual warfare and I was fighting without my armor.

Matthew 4:15 says:

Some people are like seed along the path, where the word is sown. As soon as they hear it, Satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them.

How could I have allowed this to happen? I was invested in God’s Word. I tried to live it to the best of my ability. And yet, I allowed Satan to infiltrate. The past two years have been marked by one harsh blow after another. I had tried to keep a positive outlook on life but deep down inside I was a big ole’ mess! I was fighting these unseen forces and it was physically, mentally, and spiritually wearing me down.

As I prayed about what to do, God led me to some truths. I had been carrying around some anger, resentments and fears that needed to be dealt with. Otherwise, I was just inviting Satan in my life where he would take the Word of God and root it right out. Satan realized that negative emotions which stemmed from being hurt by someone I loved, concerns about finances, as well as frustration and hopelessness regarding circumstances in my life, had all built a barrier between God and me. The truth is, I’d grown weary of praying because if felt selfish and forced. My feelings overshadowed my faith and I’d been relying on my own advice for handling adversities, rather than seeking God’s wisdom. As a result, I’d given Satan the very thing he was looking for – a foothold in my heart. So much time focused on me and my “woes” had inadvertently smothered out God’s Word and His truths which could set me free.

The fact is, even though I felt utterly alone, I really had no one to blame but ME! God never left me or abandoned me. He didn’t ignore my prayers. He still caught every tear I ever cried. I just chose to wallow instead of wrapping myself in His Word. Deep down I still knew that only He held the power to make me feel whole again.

So why did it take a dream to get me to wake up?

I believe God used the stillness of my rest to wrestle with me with He did with Jacob. I believe He wanted me to physically understand that spiritual warfare is not just something that happened in Biblical times. It happens everyday. We must be ready at all times, just like a soldier. And I had let my guard down, which enabled the enemy to get in. I believe that this dream showed me what weapons I need to fight this daily battle. When I couldn’t reach the Bible in my dream, I felt hopeless. His Word is the sword to fight Satan and the stronghold he tries to make. Only God’s Word can defeat him.

But I also realized that I need to spend more time with God so that I can retrieve His Word from the depths of my soul, not just on a page. The more time I spend on my relationship with the Lord, the better I will know Him. It’s like any friendship really. If you want a close relationship, you take the time to get to know that person. If I am spending time with the Lord, Satan won’t be invited in! It’s actually quite simple.

A song by Big Daddy Weave has a great verse. It says, “Then You look at this prisoner and say to me son, stop fighting a fight that’s already been won.” This battle that I experienced in my dream was of my own doing. God is not going to forsake me to fight these fights on my own. He has already won them. He did it by conquering the cross. I don’t have to fight this fight anymore. I have experienced victory through Jesus Christ. All I need to do is reach out to Him and invite Him to fight it for me.

Ephesians 6:13-18 (MSG) says

Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.”

Heavenly Father, I don’t want to fight this battle alone. Forgive me for ever thinking that I have to do it alone. Thank you for your Sword so that I never will go into battle alone again. Amen.

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The Joneses Are Overrated

18 Sunday Aug 2013

Posted by in Acceptance, Apostle Paul, faith, Jesus Christ, Pain

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For I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know both how to have a little, and I know how to have a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content—whether well-fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me. — Philippians 4:11-13 (HCSB)

It’s official. “The Joneses” are overrated.

Yes, I’m referring to those Joneses. The ones we all are trying to keep up with. Totally overrated. I should know. I’ve been trying to keep up with them for years. Once I achieved it, it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

These past few months have not been easy financially for me and my family. We were certain when all of this hardship began that it would be very temporary. Three or four months. But now, nearly seven months later, there does not appear to be an end in sight. Essentially, we are destitute. Hand to mouth. Etc. Etc. At first it was late bills. Then it was selling a few personal items. Now, the house, cars, jewelry … all of it is gone. Yes, it is painful.

This morning at church, the sermon was about suffering. Oh boy was I going to relate to this one! I had a story about suffering. I was losing all that I owned. I was ostracized by former friends. Yes. This sermon was definitely for me. Pen in hand, I was ready to take notes and then wallow some more in why my life was so bad. Then God’s Word spoke to me.

Then the governor’s soldiers took Jesus into the Praetorium and gathered the whole company of soldiers around him. They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, and then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand. Then they knelt in front of him and mocked him. “Hail, king of the Jews!” they said. They spit on him, and took the staff and struck him on the head again and again. After they had mocked him, they took off the robe and put his own clothes on him. Then they led him away to crucify him. –Matthew 27:27-31

Yep. God quickly reminded me that I didn’t know suffering at all. How could I possibly feel sorry for myself and the circumstances I find myself in when I read those verses? So what if I don’t have the home of my dreams. So what if I am no longer accepted in some social circles. I am alive and free because my God loved me enough to allow His Son to suffer for my sins. And boy was I sinning today. I was feeling jealousy, anger, resentment, bitterness… And Jesus suffered because He knew I would sin just like that. That’s some powerful stuff.

When I think of the emotional pain that I am living with, I have definitely wondered when God would step in and make it stop. But in the message today, I heard a wonderful statement. “God is not the author of my pain.” Wait. What? You mean it’s choices I have made that have impacted my situation? So what does it all mean then? What’s the point?

The point is that God is not the author of the pain but He will definitely use it for good. I can now have compassion for others walking through some dark valleys. I can offer them love and acceptance. I can show them God’s grace through my actions. That’s the point. God isn’t going to cause us pain but He will show us how to use it. Matthew 25:31-46 drives home this very point.

When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’ They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.

Getting back to the Joneses…

I’m fairly certain there will be times when the Joneses will invade my thoughts again. We are told over and over that to be loved and accepted we must look a certain way, live in a certain home and wear a certain label. But I believe God is showing me exactly how He wants me to be used in His ministry. He doesn’t want me to be like the Joneses. These comparisons destroy our contentment. When we see others owning, enjoying, or experiencing what we do not have, but wish we did, it can make us doubt our self-worth. In a letter to the believers in Philippi, the Apostle Paul wrote Philippians 4:11-13. “For I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.” I’m definitely not where the Apostle Paul was. Not even close. But at least God has deliberately shown me how He expects me to live my life – content in whatever circumstances I am.

God has already prepared a place of contentment for us when we can’t pay the bills. We find that place when we take our eyes off of our situation and fix them solely upon God.

A blog that I read about comparisons said the following:
” When we cease making comparisons and instead willingly embrace our current lot in life, welcoming all that God will teach us through it, we will finally unearth the secret Paul knew. True contentment is not merely having what you want, it is wanting nothing more than what you already have.”

Heavenly Father, forgive me for not embracing my current situation and seeing it as an opportunity instead of a sacrifice. Show me how to be your hands and feet to others walking through pain so that I might be of use to you. Thank you, Lord, for never wasting a hurt. Amen.