Monthly Archives: December 2020

2020, See Ya, Bye!

31 Thursday Dec 2020

Posted by in faith, Jesus Christ, mental health, Pain, Perseverance, Revelation 2021, Uncategorized, Uncharted2020

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Only a few hours left of 2020. Before we all start cheering, I think it’s important to reflect on what was so we can properly hope for what is to come.

So what did 2020 bring into our lives?

COVID-19 pandemic, quarantines and lockdowns, unemployment, murder hornets, Kobe Bryant’s death, impeachment hearings, stock market crash, Beirut explosion, Chadwick Boseman’s death, BLM, antifa, protests, riots, toilet paper shortage, masks, Zoom meetings, homeschooling, 6 feet rule, massive wildfires, Israeli peace agreement, RBG’s death, murder rates rise, church closings, no sport spectators, travel bans, Tennessee tornado, hurricanes, brexit, locust swarms, Olympics canceled, Haiti fire, earthquakes, national emergency, shootings, presidential election, national chaos, Trump tests positive for Covid, Alex Trebek’s death, UFO sightings, small businesses closing, reduced capacity, home shopping, no family gatherings, Covid vaccine, Nashville bombing.

Yes, this all happened in 2020 … and we survived! It can seem like there is nothing good to reflect upon but, with God, there is always good!

Each of us have to decide for ourselves what the good is. For me, it was a deeper relationship with my husband, a renewed appreciation for friends, a surrender of things I can’t control, and a full-time counseling job. All of these moments of “good” are the direct result of seeking God in all of the moments of each day.

God is always there with us, guiding us and loving us. But when we seek Him in the tough moments, we can see a side of the challenge that brings hope.

Over this year, I have wondered often about where the good is. Watching the news or reading the social media feeds, I have been left with a sense of doom. And I’m not alone. The clients I have met with this past year have brought profoundly deep pain. More than once, as I left my office at the end of the day I wondered, “God, am I doing any good at all?”

A couple of weeks ago, after a particularly challenging day at work, I made my way home thinking and praying about the souls I interacted with that day. Crisis after crisis and there seemed no end it sight. And then, I get a text message from a client I had seen the day before. This client is an artist and had given me a bowl they had made from wood. In the wood, there was a faint line where the wood had cracked in the creation process. This is what my client said: “I gave you that particular bowl because it was broken and I was able to put it back together and unless you look carefully you can’t tell it was broken. You do that for broken people, you counsel them and put them back together.”

That is hope. That is resilience. That is grace. That is God. And God never leaves us broken. We may be living in a broken world but, if you are a disciple of Jesus Christ, you are no longer broken! You have been made whole … even in a crazy year like 2020.

”The world seems to be in trouble, whether it’s the storms or the political problems we have in this country. The only hope for this world is God,” Rev. Franklin Graham said during an appearance on Newsmax TV’s ”Spicer & Co.”

Rev. Graham was right. Our only hope is God! I have no idea why 2020 has been so difficult. But I know God has not grown silent. He has not forgotten us. Instead, His hope abounds! But make no mistake, the only way to grasp this hope and experience its fullness is to be fully immersed in the word of God.

“Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus” (Matt. 14:29).

With each new headline this year, we watched a storm brewing. And, if you were like me, there were times when you were genuinely frightened at the sheer size of the waves heading your way.

But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” (Matt. 14:30)

When Peter stepped out of the boat before the storm was still, he walked on the words Jesus said to him. But the moment he decided to focus on storm… the junk in our lives… he began to sink. We must choose to walk on Jesus’ words during life’s storms, even if they don’t make sense. And let’s be honest, what about 2020 has made sense? Well, God has! God not only speaks to us through the storms of life, but he also meets with us and speaks to us in the heart of the storm, when we’re at the end of ourselves and all hope is gone. Friends, it’s in those dark nights of the soul that God is found. It’s also in the bright sunny days that God is found.

As you wipe the dust of 2020 off your feet, give God thanks for what was because, friends, hope still exists. Miracles still happen. And Jesus Christ still reigns!

Happy New Year!

Revelation!

17 Thursday Dec 2020

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Lord, have mercy! We’ve made it to the end of 2020!! There were definitely times throughout this year that I wondered if the end would ever arrive. But with every difficult day, God’s promises were sustained. The sun continued to rise and set, the world continued to revolve, and we continued to put one foot in front of the other each day.

With a new year comes a new One Word. For those of you not familiar with One Word, it’s based on the book One Word That Will Change Your Life by Jon Gordon, Dan Britton, and Jimmy Page. The idea is that we don’t need endless lists of goals and resolutions. Instead, if we spend time with God in prayer and meditation, He will lead us to our One Word, the word that will help define our year, our goals, and our attitude. I’ve been doing this for several years and have found that the only year it did not truly impact me was the year I chose my word instead of allowing God to choose it for me. Last year around this time, God gave me my One Word for 2020. It was uncharted. When He placed that word on my heart, he also placed Hebrews 11:8 alongside my word. “By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going.”

For a little background, in December 2019 I was serving as pastor of a church, preparing for ordination, working part-time as a mental health therapist, and serving as spiritual director for an ecumenical community. I had no idea that BIG changes were on the way. So uncharted seemed very odd to me. What do you mean, God, when you say “uncharted?” What does this verse mean for my life? Quite frankly, it was a bit scary to have such a word and verse given so boldly to me. But, alas, there it was and I knew I had to be obedient to Him.

Clearly 2020 has been uncharted for all of us in some way or another. Living through a pandemic is something I would dare say none of us had on our top ten list of things to do. We have experienced a wide variety of things we never expected: shut-downs, quarantines, protests, riots, political unrest, election uncertainties… this list can go on and on. Add to that my own challenges. I never anticipated losing my church, being canceled by my denomination, and having my ordination stripped simply because I chose Jesus over the world. I certainly never expected the loneliness, depression, anger, resentment, and isolation that would follow. Yes, it was certainly a year that could best be described as uncharted.

I received this bracelet early spring and have worn it every day. On those days when I would question God as to why, I would catch a glimpse of this bracelet with my word and be reminded as to why – uncharted. “By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going.” img_3722

So now 2021 is knocking on the door and I for one am anxious to get that door open. As difficult as 2020 has been for us all, I do have a great amount of hope in 2021. I have always believed a new year is a special thing because it’s a new opportunity to change, grow, and surrender to God.

For the past 4-6 weeks, I have been actively reflecting over my 2020 One Word while eagerly listening for my new One Word. Remember, it’s not a word you pick. It’s a word and verse given to you by God. My word for this year is revelation. Lord, have mercy! Trust me when I say that God and I have tussled over this one. Clearly, the first thing I thought when I received the word was the Book of Revelation. But praise God that is NOT what He means. How do I know? My verse was revealed a couple of weeks later.

I see what you’ve done. Now see what I’ve done. I’ve opened a door before you that no one can slam shut. You don’t have much strength, I know that; you used what you had to keep my Word. You didn’t deny me when times were rough.

Revelation 3:8

Y’all, I am not sure what it all means but I do know that God is going to be doing something quite amazing. It reminds me of Isaiah 43:18-19 — “Do not remember the past events, pay no attention to things of old. Look, I am about to do something new; even now it is coming. Do you not see it?” Think about that for a moment. God is never changing. He was, is, and forever will be. His word is as steadfast today as it was when first spoken to the prophets of old. And yet, when we are true to God, true to who He is, He creates within us something new. I find that amazing.

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God is fully aware of my failing strength throughout 2020. He is fully aware of my obedience. And now He is promising me a revelation, an awakening, a revealing of something that will altar my life. I feel like I know what is about to happen but God’s plans and my thoughts are not always (seldom actually) in sync.

Clearly, 2021 is going to be a year of revelation in my life. It’s going to be a year of obedience so that I don’t miss those things He reveals to me. It’s going to be another tough year. I have no doubt about that. When you experience revelation in your life, it almost always requires a purging of things … and sometimes people … from your sphere because you realize that they are holding you back. And that is okay.

In the discussion guide from the One Word book, a question is posed that think is a powerful one to sum it all up. “As you begin with the end in mind, think of ways that this year’s One Word might become part of your legacy…part of your life’s story. What are three things you hope others will say about you when this year’s One Word journey is over?” I know what I hope for… it’s the same thing I have hoped for since accepting Jesus Christ. I hope that people see Jesus within me. I hope that as 2021 reveals it’s new promises to me, that I am obedient only to God. And I hope that others experience a holy revelation in their own lives because they were able to see me walk through the door God opened, glorifying Him in every single step along the way.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Music For The Soul

07 Monday Dec 2020

Posted by in Christmas, faith, forgiveness, Jesus Christ, Kingdom of God, Pain

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I heard the bells on Christmas day
Their old familiar carols play
And mild and sweet their songs repeat
Of peace on earth good will to men

And the bells are ringing (peace on earth)
Like a choir they’re singing (peace on earth)
In my heart I hear them (peace on earth)
Peace on earth, good will to men

Friday night my husband and I had the privilege of attending a Casting Crowns concert at the historic Ryman in Nashville. It was a night of Casting Crowns classics and Christmas songs. I cannot begin to tell you how good it felt to be in this beautiful venue listening to live music. Although we were socially distanced and masked up, there was a wonderful sense of normalcy about the evening.

In the midst of The First Noel and Silent Night was I Heard The Bells on Christmas Day. Let’s be honest, when you are decking the halls, you are probably not singing that particular song. It’s not the song that comes to mind for most people when singing Christmas tunes, although it may be familiar to you. I have always liked the song but often put it out of my mind until I happen upon it mid-December.

So, Friday night, I’m sitting alongside my husband, enjoying these joyous sounds of the season when the band began the first haunting notes of …Christmas Day.

For those of you who have not had the opportunity to attend a show at the Ryman, the atmosphere is quite unlike any place else. Known as the Mother Church of Country Music, the Ryman was built in the 1800s. It originally opened as the Union Gospel Tabernacle by Thomas Ryman, a Nashville businessman who owned several saloons and riverboats. Ryman conceived the idea of the auditorium as a tabernacle for the influential revivalist Samuel Porter Jones. He had attended one of Jones’ revivals with the intent to heckle, but was instead converted into a devout Christian. Church pews, stained glass windows, and an intimate 2,300 seats give the audience a chance to experience the music in a spectacular way.

The first few notes seemed to bring a slight hush over the auditorium. As Mark Hall (lead singer) began to sing, something changed. I don’t know quite how to explain it but there was a definite change in the air.

I heard the bells on Christmas day
Their old familiar carols play
And mild and sweet their songs repeat
Of peace on earth good will to men

Have you ever really listened to the words of this song? I’m not sure I ever really had, even though I could sing along with the best of them on this song.

And the bells are ringing (peace on earth)
Like a choir they’re singing (peace on earth)
In my heart I hear them (peace on earth)
Peace on earth, good will to men

Originally written by Henry Longfellow in 1863, the song began as a poem. Longfellow had experienced some significant pain in his life. A father of 6 children, his wife had died after her dress had caught fire. Longfellow tried to save her, sustaining significant burns himself which caused dramatic scars and considerable longterm grief. His oldest son was injured in the Civil War, causing paralysis. On Christmas day, 1863, Longfellow could hear the church bells across the village as well as the singing of “peace on earth”. The bells and songs seemed to compete profoundly with his observation in the world of injustice and violence. How could there be peace on earth when all around him there was such despair?

And in despair I bowed my head
There is no peace on earth I said
For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men

Oh how those same words can be applied today! As Mark sang out that verse, the very presence of God seemed to overcome the Church. Before I could scarcely take a breath, emotion only available from the Holy Spirit took over and a river of tears began to fall that would not be contained. The tears fell for the disappointments of the past year. They fell for the pain caused by people I loved. They fell for the loss of church. They fell for closings and cancelations. They fell for destructions of our cities and loss of life around the world. They fell for the anger in my own heart and the hearts of all those around us. And with that, I too bowed my head in despair.

But the bells are ringing (peace on earth)
Like a choir singing (peace on earth)
Does anybody hear them? (peace on earth)
Peace on earth, good will to men

It’s difficult to describe the complete submersion into the music. I know there were several instruments playing but all I could really hear were the bells and the angelic voices as they continued to proclaim “peace on earth.” I wanted it to stop and I wanted to stay in that moment forever all at the same time. I just could not seem to contain the sobs.

Then rang the bells more loud and deep
God is not dead, nor does he sleep (peace on earth, peace on earth)
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail
With peace on earth, good will to men

And with that, hope emerged. Yes, hope has always been there but I have spent so long burying it I suppose I had failed to see how right could ever prevail again in my lifetime. I know it sounds dramatic but that has been my heart. But you see, God refuses to be silenced. He refuses to let go once you take hold of his grace. He refuses to let dark prevail even when darkness can seem quite inviting. The truth is that it has felt like the wrong would win…. or rather that the wrong DID win. I simply do not know how to heal from this year. I do not know how to trust my heart again with those around me. I do not know how to serve God with reckless abandon anymore. Then rang the bells more loud and deep. Those bells are not the ones found on church steeples. Those are the bells of the holy choir and when they invade the silence they will not be ignored. Every closed off part of your soul will vibrate from them, awakening you to something more profound than words can describe.

Then ringing singing on its way
The world revolved from night to day
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good will to men

And the bells they’re ringing (Peace on Earth)
Like a choir they’re singing (Peace on Earth)
And with our hearts we’ll hear them
Peace on earth, good will to men

Do you hear the bells they’re ringing? (Peace on Earth)
The life the angels singing (Peace on Earth)
Open up your heart and hear them (Peace on Earth)
Peace on earth, good will to men
Peace on earth, Peace on earth
Peace on earth, Good will to men

It’s Advent. It’s an anticipation of the coming. But in that moment in the Mother Church on a Friday night the Holy Spirit came. My dear friends, don’t miss it like I almost did. Don’t miss the light of day for the dark night of the soul. 2020 is not our identity. The disappointments, the challenges, or even the loses are not the finale. Do you hear the bells they’re ringing? Peace on earth. Peace on earth.

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