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~ Lord, have mercy…

Domine Miserere

Category Archives: Being Still

My heart is just so tired

18 Wednesday Mar 2020

Posted by Janean Tinsley in Being Still, faith, Jesus Christ, Pain, Perseverance, Uncategorized, Uncharted2020

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“My heart is just so tired.”

I had a client say that to me this week. It struck me because of its deep authenticity “My heart is just so tired.” Perhaps you feel the squeeze in the pit of your stomach, too. “My heart is just so tired.”

The past several weeks we have watched from a safe distance the turmoil that Covid19 has been causing around the world. We watched with curiosity and maybe a bit of concern. But we went about our daily lives. And then seemingly in the blink of an eye everything changed. The virus is here. Our way of life is interrupted. Our security fractured. And so we go from curiosity to fear. And we seek answers. No, we demand answers to how this went from a distant news story to a crippling pandemic.

How often do we have these same “blink of eye” situations within our personal lives? Life can be going along and then all of a sudden a pandemic consumes your very soul. Friends become strangers. Jobs become prisons. Homes become islands. And you find yourself holding on to the ledge of life with the tips of your fingers. Why? Because your heart is just so tired.

Friends, this life is not meant to be experienced alone. It’s meant to be shared with people of all kinds. Even in this time of social distancing, we need each other. Scripture tells us that God created woman because he saw it was not good for man to be alone. Throughout the existence of humankind, relationships have been a profoundly important part of God’s plan for us.

Unfortunately, we take these relationships for granted far too often. Instead of facing issues, we ignore them. Instead of healing hurts, we build walls. Over time friendships die, families split, and bitterness sets in. We bury emotions and assumptions deep within our heart, trying in vain to keep the cracks from becoming craters that the world can see. And we cry out, “My heart is just so tired.” It’s tired because it simply cannot do this life alone.

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. — John 15:12-15

Like my client, I too find my heart just so very tired. But oh how glorious it is to know that we are not in this alone. Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is with us, bearing our burdens, hearing our cries, and catching our tears. Whether you find your heart tired because of the external pandemic or your own internal one, you are not alone.

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Slow Down

04 Monday Apr 2016

Posted by Janean Tinsley in Being Still, Uncategorized

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  Slow down. Take a deep breath. What’s the hurry? 
       Why wear yourself out? Just what are you after anyway? 
    But you say, ‘I can’t help it. 
       I’m addicted to alien gods. I can’t quit.’   — Jeremiah 2:25 

When I read this today, I couldn’t help but flinch a little. It was as if God were speaking to me directly. “Slow down.” It has been a stretch of busyness and stress – all of my own doing. Saying “no” is something I urge others to do but often fail to do myself. So, here I am, slowing down.

railroad-tracks-wallpaper-picture

It was actually a forced time of rest – sort of. I’m taking a train today and have five hours of uninterrupted rest, relaxation, and prayer. I’ve never taken the train for a long distance before. It’s sort of like stepping back in time (minus the complimentary wifi, of course). I couldn’t help but let my imagination go when I first boarded. The conductor bellowed “all aboard” and folks were carrying their luggage (yes, actually carrying it because they didn’t have wheels). People were hugging each other good-bye right beside the train and then waving one final time as we pulled away from the station. I imagined how train rides must have been in the days when people dressed up to travel. Women in their fitted, floor length dresses and white gloves. Men in their suits and hats. It must have been quite the spectacle.

I’m a little jealous that those times are gone. Things seemed so much more relaxed during those days. Not the rush, rush, rush that defines our 24 hours. People were more respectful of each other, more caring and empathetic. Front porches were used for sitting and talking instead of just a place to walk across going to and from our cars. People waved at each other when passing by. The offer of assistance was always on the tip of every tongue. And the churches were always full. At least, that’s how it’s always been described to me.

But that’s not our story today. We are busy people, with lives that seem abundantly important. We stay connected electronically, letting our hundreds of “friends” know our every important minute. We voice our opinions and throw words of venom as we hide behind our glowing little screens. The dust builds up on our porches as we close the doors tightly to shut the world out. We no longer spend time talking with each other. We don’t go to church. We shut out community and the idea of real fellowship makes us pull the covers back over our heads. And we are all guilty of it at one time or another.

But God says, “slow down. Take a deep breath. What’s the hurry? Why wear yourself out? Just what are you after anyway?”

That’s really the question, isn’t it? What are you after anyway? I wonder that myself, sometimes – when I get so busy “doing” that I stop “being”. As I watch the world fly by while sitting on this train, I can’t help but wonder all of that and more. I know my calling but am I really fulfilling it? Am I doing all that I can to serve God in the way He called me? I don’t think I am.

John Wesley said, “Give me one hundred preachers who fear nothing but sin, and desire nothing but God, and I care not a straw whether they be clergymen or laymen; such alone will shake the gates of hell and set up the kingdom of heaven on Earth.” That’s a tough statement. Honestly, there are other things that I fear. Other things that I worry about. And they are selfish things. Things that do not matter because they in no way lead others to Jesus Christ. So why do we get so wrapped up in the busyness of life and our own self-importance? Because it’s easier to have an illusion of control rather than the reality of surrender. It’s easier to say ‘yes’ to our own wants rather than saying ‘yes’ to God and His commands.

So for today, I’m slowing down. I’m taking a train ride that forces me to be still, take in the beauty of God’s creation, listen to the conversations around me, and act on His behalf. For today, that which I’m after is “my Lord and my God.”

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Are You Listening?

08 Sunday Dec 2013

Posted by Janean Tinsley in Being Still

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Christmas, God, peace

20131208-112708.jpg

Why is it always in the middle of the night?

You know what I’m talking about. You are sound asleep, rest finally consuming you after a long day. And then you hear it.

Beep. Beep.

At first you aren’t sure why you are waking up. Was it a dream? Maybe a car outside. But it’s silent so you settle back down in your pillow. And just as you close your eyes…

Beep. Beep.

Yep, there it is. 3:30AM and the batteries in the smoke detector are getting low. Why does it always happen in the middle of the night? Those batteries could just as easily go dead in the middle of the day. But no – they wait until the house is silent. It’s like they know that this is the time when they are most likely to be heard the loudest.

Sort of like God.

I know God speaks all of the time. He is all around me every minute of every day. But how often do I actually hear Him? Confession time – not very often because I’m simply not listening. I don’t take the time as often as I should to just be still and listen for His voice. I pray everyday but there are times, even in my prayer moments, that my mind wonders to the list of things to be accomplished and I end up tuning Him out. Do you ever do that?

As I look back over the last year of my life, how many times have I missed God’s voice because of all the chaos that I allow to consume me? How often has He used others to speak to me and I have simply tuned them out thinking I know better? It’s enough to make me cry. I don’t want to miss out on Him anymore.

I think, like that smoke detector, alerting me in the most silent part of the night that it needs attention, God does that too. He requires of us to be still. At least eight times, God commands for us to be still.

Exodus 14:14
The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.

Nehemiah 8:11
The Levites calmed all the people, saying, “Be still, for this is a sacred day. Do not grieve.”

Job 6:24
Teach me, and I will be quiet; show me where I have been wrong.

Psalm 23:1-3
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

Psalm 37:7
Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.

Psalm 46:10
Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.

Zechariah 2:13
Be still before the LORD, all mankind, because he has roused himself from his holy dwelling.

Mark 4:39
He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

Think about that – He wants us to take the time to be still and listen to Him. When we are constantly on the move, constantly surrounded in noise, how can we possibly hear Him? We can’t. Like that smoke detector, I would not have heard it if it had been in the middle of the day and the TV was on. It took that quietness of the night, when everyone was at rest, for my attention to be directed to it.

After changing the battery, and settling back into bed, I couldn’t help but think about God and how He works. Only God would use a common household item to get my attention to focus on Him. As we enter into this Holy season, the hustle and bustle can be overwhelming. Our calendars are jammed with parties and shopping and “holiday cheer.” But are we really experiencing the meaning of Christmas? Are we taking the time to focus on Jesus Christ? This should be a time of peace and tranquility but instead we tend to shut God out more then ever during this time of year. We no longer hear Him because we don’t take the time to listen. Peace is there for each us because of the grace of God but peace must start within our own souls. And it can only be found when we take the moments that God has given us to focus on Him and Him alone. Instead of saying “I’m too busy,” we need to say “I’m never too busy to spend time with you, God.” He will calm the winds and the waves in your life if you will only be still.

Heavenly Father, thank you for the alert sounds in my life that let me know that you want to be heard if only I will be still long enough to listen. Forgive me to thinking I’m too busy to slow down. Help me to slow down and seek your voice in everything I do. Amen.

37.073959 -88.640431

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